


Seamus Finnigan and the Mystery of the Materialization of Lubricant

by seamusdeanforever_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:06:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seamusdeanforever_archivist/pseuds/seamusdeanforever_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By Lix</p><p>Seamus finds a present on his bed- a tube of lubricant. Now, he just has to find out who sent it. To do so, he undergoes an exciting, thrilling, incredible, not very interesting adventure... but it does include a fair bit of sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seamus Finnigan and the Mystery of the Materialization of Lubricant

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Cora: this story was originally archived at [Seamus/Dean Forever](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Seamus/Dean_Forever), which I opened in 2002, and which was closed in 2005 when the server that hosted it was closed. To re-open the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2015. An announcement was posted to OTW media channels, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Seamus/Dean Forever archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/seamusdeanforever/profile).
> 
> ***
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
> I'm so depressed that I don't own these characters that I sit in my room making up stories about them and all the things I wish they would do.
> 
> Author's Note: SLASH. Many pairings. And a relatively intelligent Seamus. Het. warning- reference to heterosexual relationships.  
> Seamus/ Dean, Harry/Draco, Neville/ Percy. Reference to some Ron/ Hermione.

Put your hands up if you're in love with Seamus Finnigan. Yup, I knew it, everyone loves me. I'm just irresistible. Which is why I'm not surprised when I wake up and find a present wrapped neatly and placed on the end of my bed. I crawl towards it, predatorily. You have to be careful with mysterious presents. Often as not, they come from the twins and either explode in your face or perform some incredible feat of transfiguration that really makes you wonder why they're failing McGonaggals' class. This one looks safe though. It's small, a cylindrical object wrapped like a bonbon, with Gryffindor red and gold ribbon. There's a tag attached, it simply reads 'To Seamus with love'. I unwrap it carefully, warily, making sure not to disturb my still sleeping roommates with the sound of rustling paper. It's a Saturday, and I know full well no-one will appreciate being woken on a Saturday.

It's a tube of lubricant. 'New Exciting Bertie Botts Multi- Flavoured Lubricant... Exciting flavours including Strawberry, Apple, Peach and Cum! For Adults only.'

"Bloody fricking fucking Hell!"

Okay, so why would someone send me lube? Because they want to fuck me. Okay, reasonable enough. Who? It must be someone in the dorm. That bloody door wakes me every time it opens, since I sleep right next to it, and I wasn't woken by the door opening last night. Well, apart from when Harry crept in at one after his usual nightly wandering, and it wasn't there then. That leaves my four roommates, Ron, Harry, Neville and Dean. I can rule Ron out for a start. He's staunchly hetero (unlike the rest of his family!), plus he only just managed to get it together with Hermione, after drooling over her for months and trying to make her jealous by dating briefly a good number of the girls in our year. He certainly wouldn't throw that away after all the effort it took. Maybe Harry. He must be gay, after all. He's never had a girlfriend- that crush he had on Cho was a complete joke- and... well, he's suddenly got very interested in how he looks. And he looks good. All of a sudden he's realised he has muscles and started wearing really tight t-shirts that hug his chest and emphasize pretty impressive abs, even indicating the possibility of a six- pack hidden beneath the fabric. He wears clothes that highlight his incredible green eyes and raven- black hair. He's got to be gay.

With perfect timing, I hear Harry start to stir and then suddenly pull himself out of bed. He quickly shucks on his clothes, and I watch through a gap in my curtains. It's only six, where is he going? Maybe it's something to do with my present. He slips out the room and I quickly dress and slip out after him. I follow him, struggling to keep silent, as he leaves the Gryffindor Tower and heads... for the Astronomy tower! Aha! It must be something to do with me.

I watch as Harry sneaks up the top of the tower and into a room there... He closes the door firmly, but luckily I've learnt from the twins how to deal with this situation. An exciting spell created initially for voyeurs, it's possible to make part of a wall transparent and see what is going on inside, without it being seen by those inside. Maybe I'll see Harry wrapping another present for me. Okay, I've never looked at him that way before, but I can see now he's hot, and if he likes me I'm not going to waste his attentions.

I cast the spell silently, then gasp out loud. So, he's not wrapping me another present. He's kissing Malfoy. Wow, that's kinda hot... who'd have thought, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. I watch as Malfoy pulls Harry even closer to him and kisses my friend firmly, tongues dancing unseen. Harry reaches up and starts to unbutton Malfoy's robe, but Malfoy pulls away with a teasing grin. Oh my god, who'd have thought Harry Potter, the great Boy Who Lived (and got off with Malfoys) pouted when he couldn't get his own way? Malfoy must be pointing this out, as he says something with an affectionate smile and laugh, and Harry mock- slaps him with a laugh of his own. He reaches out for the blond, but Malfoy pulls away again, and starts a striptease for his lover. I watch, open- mouthed like Harry, as pale white skin is revealed slowly, robes dropping down leisurely as Malfoy sways. Harry's watching with awe and arousal, his hands quickly moving to unbutton his own shirt and trousers without removing his eyes from Malfoy's delicate body.

When both of them are only in their boxers, they pull each other close again, kissing with obvious fire as their hands explore each other and their bodies start to move together in a beautiful, primal dance of lust. I realise abruptly that I'm getting hard, which causes me to grasp the fact that I'm stood watching Harry and Malfoy prepare to have sex. Okay, so voyeurism sounds nice, but not right now.

Okay, it was not Harry who sent the lube. He's obviously got enough on his mind, conducting a clandestine affair with the boy who's supposedly his archrival. Erm... Neville? I'd never expect it of him, but who knows. And he's kinda cute in a clumsy puppy way. I wander back to the room, have a shower and everything and soon it's time for breakfast. At breakfast Dean asks where I went that morning. I feel my chest huff with pride.

"I'm solving a mystery." I half expect Dean to laugh, he never seems to take these things as seriously as one should, but he just looks at me with some unreadable expression and asks, "Are you close to working it out yet?" I glance over at Neville thoughtfully, and reply, "I think I might be."

Dean gives a small grin, which I really can't read, then turns back to his breakfast and leaves me to watch Neville. Just as we finish, Neville gets an owl. He reads the message, and it evidently isn't from his Gran because his face breaks into the cutest grin. He folds and pockets it carefully, pokes at his plate for about two minutes, and then runs out, still looking excited. Now this certainly needs investigation...

I get up and inform Dean that I'm going to work on thinking up some new tragedies for divinations. It's a believable excuse, I now enjoy making up the horror story predictions so much that I can spend hours working diligently on my homework for class. Who wouldn't enjoy writing such ghastly predictions for the future as 'the whole of Hogwarts gets destroyed by an uncontrollable, unpredictable meteorite, which sadly lands right on top of Harry Potter, crushing him, and most of the other students to death' or 'whilst on the way to Care for Magical Creatures, the whole of Gryffindor Fifth year get dragged into the lake and eaten by the squid, who's suddenly realised how good we taste. The Slytherins have a party to celebrate and all die of alcohol poisoning.'

I quickly rush after Neville, wondering where on earth he'd go. Okay, so maybe it's not hard to work out, he has this weird passion for plants and an incredible talent with them. He'll either be in gardens or the greenhouses. I try the greenhouses first and get there just in time to see Percy Weasley walk in. Strange, if he's looking for his brothers he'll not find any of them in there, detention is a better bet. And Ginny isn't really interested in plants either... As Neville rushes over from some huge, ugly plant or other, I realise maybe Percy hasn't come to visit his siblings.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Neville beams, giving Percy a huge hug.

"I finished all my work last night and decided nothing was going to stop me apparating to Hogsmeade today and spending the day with you." Percy smiles, bending to place a gentle kiss on Neville's lips. The smaller boy positively glows with the affectionate treatment, and I realise abruptly how pretty he is when he smiles and how his feelings for Percy radiate around the small greenhouse, glowing like sunshine. He stands on tiptoes to kiss Percy more firmly. The Weasleys can be divided into short and stocky or long and lanky, and Percy is lanky and over six foot tall now. Perfect for protecting Neville who, to be honest, needs it. I wonder how long they've been together as they stand, holding each other close, and wonder why I never noticed before how perfect they are for each other. Neville's so scared and shy, needing someone to watch over him and reassure him that what he's doing is right. He needs the kind of person who can make up for his lack of parents- I don't know where they are, but his Gran seems to make their absence painfully clear. He needs to be held and mothered. Sweet, innocent Neville. And Percy... he needs to be made feel worthwhile, rather than pushed away like he is by his brothers. He needs someone to look after, so he can make use of that incredibly strong sense of responsibility and desire to protect. Who better to protect than Neville. They fit together perfectly, despite the difference in height.

Neville's kissing Percy harder now, tugging at the fastenings to his robes. Percy gives the kind of cheeky grin that is perfectly at home on any of his brother's faces, but which you'd never expect on his, and yanks off Neville's robes roughly. Okay, they're going to fuck, I think I'll leave them. I have no need to see Percy and Neville naked, although there is a weird cuteness to both of them... *so* not going there! Shut up, Finnigan...

I know I'm frowning as I walk back to the school building and into Gryffindor dorms. I'd never have thought Neville would have a boyfriend. I never even thought he'd find a girlfriend, really. He just appeared so innocent and virginal. I'm glad for him, but why has he found love and I haven't? Or maybe I have, after all there's the lubricant someone gave me. But who? It can't be Ron, obviously. Harry's fucking Draco (I can't wait to see Ron's face when that one comes out). Neville's with Percy. Which leaves...

"Oh, hi, Dean."

"Hi, Seamus, how's it going? Solved your mystery yet?"

"Nope. I'm totally stuck." As luck would have it, the final clue appeared, drifting out of Dean's pocket.

"Wait, Dean, you dropped... hey, this is a receipt for lubricant!"

Dean starts to grin. Wait! My fourth roommate. My best friend. The only person left to have given me the present... "You gave me the lube?"

Dean's grin gets louder. "Took you long enough to work it out! I didn't think you'd find it so hard to recognise your best friend's handwriting!"

I pull the tag out my pocket and look at it. To Seamus with love. "Oh yeah."

Then I look up at him. Dean. My best friend ever. "Yay! It was you!" I suddenly decide to enjoy this, and throw myself at him. He's a lot taller than me, so I crawl up his body, till my legs are wrapped around his waist and my arms are around his neck and I can look him in the eye. Dean holds me up almost effortlessly, hands supporting my thighs gently.

"You wanna go try it out?" I ask, before leaning up and kissing him deeply. Dean's mouth opens beneath mine and I explore him hungrily. Finally, after all the sex people have been having today, it's my turn.

"Hmm, that would be nice." Dean replies, barely parting his lips from mine. I can already feel his erection pressed up against my hips, and I tighten my legs around him to pull myself closer to that thrilling warmth. I wriggle a little bit as I feel myself slipping slightly, and Dean and I both gasp as the movement moves my cock against his in the most beautiful way. I move again, and after that we're thrusting hard against each other, panting into each other's necks as we move fiercely.

"Bed." I manage to moan before I completely lose the ability to breathe. Stumbling slightly, Dean gets us to my bed somehow, and we tumble onto it in a warm aching heap of lust. I tug impatiently at his t-shirt, still thrusting up against his firm body. Dean pulls away with a groan just long enough to shed his shirt and tug mine off. Ohh, skin on skin, that's nice...

I explore his chest for a moment, then decide he's still wearing too many clothes and unbutton his jeans. Push them down his hips with my feet. Oh, Dean, no underwear, you lovely, lovely bloke. Dean's pulling off my own jeans and boxers, and then it's complete skin on skin, everywhere touching... oh, that is so fucking nice... Dean's cock is long and hard and pressed against my thigh, leaving little trailing patches of wet as he thrusts against me. That feels really nice... but... well, we gotta put the lube to use right?

"In me, in me, now, now, now!" I request eloquently.

Dean manages a low chuckle, before he scrabbles to find the lube and rubs it onto his fingers. He lets it warm for a moment and then starts to stroke my opening with one long finger. "In me, in me!" I expressively pronounce to him.

Finally, a finger strokes inside me, and I writhe happily against it. Two fingers. Three. For fucks' sake, Dean, surely that's enough? I repeat my request to him, and he finally gets the picture and moves slowly inside. Ohhh... okay, if it was nice before this is pure perfection, this is all things good... His thrusts are slow and cautious, but patience has never been a virtue in my eyes, and so I start moving back on him, pushing him into me harder and faster. With a groan, he capitulates and allows me to dictate a furious pace. He holds onto me so he can raise my hips and pound deeper inside, and just as it gets too much he somehow finds impossible depth and comes deep, deep within me. The feeling of him coming inside me, the feeling of the hard, reflexive pounding of his hips as he finds release, makes me come as well, making a fine mess of my stomach and chest.

He stays in me for a long time, we hold on to each other tight, and it really is perfect. The mystery is solved, the hero got laid, what else is there left to do?


End file.
